Sunday, November 30, 2008

Never enough

One of the worst things about growing up is when you start wondering when you will ever be enough.

For him and her and them, everyone.

The meltdowns show up so often that you just want to be sane and happy, stand still and savor that moment.

Until you get greedy and wish it will last forever.

Because if you take the next step forward, you risk starting a bush fire.

You walk on eggshells, afraid that you're treading on someone else's feelings.

Who are those friends that you're afraid to call on at times like these?

Perhaps it's easier to hide and let all the pain and hurt consume you, alone.

Then no one would know that you're not enough.

You say one thing, they think you mean another.

You're an idiot.

Because that's probably the only reason people treat you like one.

When you ignore the snide comments, the sarcasm that comes with it, does that mean you don't care?

You do, and you notice things like that.

Feigning ignorance makes people think you don't care if they're mean.

If they hurt you.

If you question your self worth.

It is in this exact moment that you know, being just you will never be enough for anyone.

Perhaps not even yourself.

No comments: